There's an old joke. There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.

It's a joke that usually has to be explained (and consequently, not a very funny one). Counting in binary begins with 0, then 1, then 10 (because there is no 2). Therefore, 10 is binary for 2. There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't. If at this point you are laughing then you are very easily amused.

We live in what some have called 'the digital age'. It started with music stored digitally on CD (okay so arguably it started with Morse Code or even more arguably scratches on a cave wall) and before you knew it we had Digital Watches, Digital Cameras, Digital Television, Digital Hymnals...

...wait a moment, did he just say Digital Hymnal?

Now a Digital Hymnal, if it was what you might think it was, would be great. If everybody collected a hymn book on the way in to mass and when they opened it up the pages cleverly displayed the next hymn then we would be free from the limits of a paper hymnal. Nobody would need to find pages, we wouldn't need numbers on the wall, just glance in the book and sing what you see. Ella could select good hymns instead of the limited selection from one particular edition Hymns Old and New. People with arthritis wouldn't need to fumble with pages and you could have a switch on the side allowing a large print/high contrast view for those with impaired vision. Hey, you could even pipe different words depending on the location of the singer in the room for antiphonal singing.

Unfortunately, that's not what a Digital Hymnal is. The kind of Digital Hymnal I'm talking about, the kind employed by Fr. Massie in the West Hull Parishes (St. Wilfrid's, Corpus Christi and St. Joseph's) is more like an electric keyboard without the keys. Remember those awful demo songs where you type in the number and you can hear Fur Elise on the harpsichord, piano or barked by a not particularly convincing dog? Fr. Massie's Digital Hymnal is like one of those. It has a keypad and you type in the hymn number and it plays the hymn.

Personally, I find this deeply troubling and not because it sounds bad either. My problem is this: Playing an instrument during the mass constitutes an act of worship. Using an electronic device to play music does not. The existence of a box that makes music discourages human beings from making music themselves and as such discourages worship. God gives people gifts to produce music and in doing so they glorify Him.

I am fully aware that I stand in the minority on this one. The general consensus even among usually sensible sound Catholics is that any music is better than no music. I disagree, I think people singing without music (even badly) is more glorifying to God than the tone being set by machine.

So what to do? Well, for some time I've been considering a blog entry in which I would parody a service offering to replace all the parts of the mass with digital components. Why have extraordinary ministers cluttering up the altar when a simple mechanical dispenser can do the job? Why have humans do the readings when a recording could be used, who want's to hear some old woman when you can have a recording of Brian Blessed or Peter Dickson (who?). Why have a priest resident when the Pope himself can transubstantiate a vast supply and have it shipped out. Surely people would prefer Papal Eucharist to the regular kind? Speaking of the Pope, why have homilies by local priests when you could pop a TV on the lectern and have the Pope himself, live!

If all that seems a bit irreverent that's because it is! I'm not suggesting it. I'm not the one with a Digital Hymnal.

Calm down James. This isn't going any further. Your silly imagined situations are just that, silly imaginations. Nobody is going to, say, do a Digital Homily. No priest in his right mind would replace the Homily with a CD recording of some girl from Blackpool doing a talk at a conference.

Would they?

Today. Sunday 5th August 2007. Parody became reality.

Before mass this morning Fr. Massie draped unsightly orange extension cable across the sanctuary and when I gave him an inquisitive look remarked 'Digital Homily'. I thought he was joking. When the time for the Homily came, Fr. Massie took a frankly huge ghetto-blaster and placed it on the lectern, explained what we were about to hear and (after we waited through a bit of fast-forwarding) played us a talk on CD.

It's worth noting that the contents of the CD were sound enough. Amy from Blackpool didn't say anything untoward though it did feel quite long. I agree with Fr. Massie on this: it was a good talk and it was good for people to hear it.

What I don't agree with is replacing the Homily with a talk by a lay person, digital or otherwise. Certainly, that a Homily must never be be given my a lay person is clear. Redemptionis Sacramentum states:

[64.] The homily, which is given in the course of the celebration of Holy Mass and is a part of the Liturgy itself, "should ordinarily be given by the Priest celebrant himself. He may entrust it to a concelebrating Priest or occasionally, according to circumstances, to a Deacon, but never to a layperson."

...

[74.] If the need arises for the gathered faithful to be given instruction or testimony by a layperson in a Church concerning the Christian life, it is altogether preferable that this be done outside Mass. Nevertheless, for serious reasons it is permissible that this type of instruction or testimony be given after the Priest has proclaimed the Prayer after Communion. This should not become a regular practice, however. Furthermore, these instructions and testimony should not be of such a nature that they could be confused with the homily, nor is it permissible to dispense with the homily on their account.

Whether a homily can be given by a layperson as long as it is pre-recorded so the priest can vet it is highly suspect. So, frankly, I don't know what Fr. Massie is thinking. If he carries on like this and things go really well he might end up with 1000 people in his Church (that's 8 by the way).

Still, he could always invest in some Digital Parishoners.