I'm sure there's a pun to be had here somewhere... something about stumbling blocks? Being constructive?

[Klocki - LEGO Bricks for Adults]

There is a place in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo Baggins speaks of the dangers of roads. I remember as a child before I ever read Tolkein the exciting realisation that the road outside my house was joined to every other place in the country and that the river not much further away was joined in an unbroken link to countries on the other side of the world. Because all roads are joined to all other roads, "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."

The same thing applies, believe it or not, to going to Church. Take yesterday for instance - International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Ella and I decided to go to confession... now I understand why people get a bit nervous about going to confession - you never know what might happen!

In this case what happened is that we got talking to Fr Massie afterwards and he said he was going to bless a ship and asked if we would like to go along. We've never been to a ship blessing before so we thought "why not?" and after getting Fr Massie to bless our car (it's never been done, he had all his kit with him, and it's good to have a warm up before blessing something big like a ship) we were on our way. Tailing Fr Massie through the streets of Hull towards the Albert Dock.

Fr Massie did his best Obi-Wan Kenobi impression (usually reserved for smuggling droids in to space ports) to get Ella, myself and the girls past security and on to the dock itself where the boat was moored. This wasn't your average run of the mill "carry stuff around" boat, oh no. This is a genuine bona-fide treasure hunter, resplendent with deep sea diving equipment and everything a bit hush hush about where they will be going next. They go out to old wrecks and have pulled up a great deal of gold and other artefacts. There are tails of pirates to - two of the crew were once captured by pirates and made to live on a glass of water and some bread every few days. We decided it might be a bit tasteless to say "yarrr!"

We stood with the mostly Indian and Philipino crew and watched it (I should say, her) being blessed (the words of the ship blessing are beautiful) and then the crew (who were very kind and hospitable) invited us on board. We sat with the girls in a cabin while Fr Massie toured the whole ship sprinkling holy water on everything. After that, the crew very kindly invited us to eat with them, which is how we found ourselves below decks on a ship eating lunch with real life treasure hunters on international talk like a pirate day.

So yeah... Church... dead boring innit.

I was a little puzzled this morning as I glanced over the headlines to read about a Vatican department that deals with "confessions of sins so grave only the pope can grant absolution"

One of the Vatican's most secrecy shrouded tribunals, which handles confessions of sins so grave only the pope can grant absolution, is giving the faithful a peek into its workings for the first time in its 830-year history.

...

Confessions of even the most heinous of crimes and sins -- such as genocide or mass murder -- are handled at the local level by priests and their bishops and are not heard by the tribunal.

Its work involves those sins that are reserved for the pope -- considered so serious that a local priest or bishop is not qualified to grant absolution, said Cardinal James Francis Stafford, an American who heads the Apostolic Penitentiary.

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I'm a Catholic, I go to Church, I've read the Catechism and the Documents of Vatican II, I've even been to "inspirational" study days and I have never heard of sins so grave only the Pope can grant absolution. Besides which, it even says - sins such as "genocide or mass murder" are handled by priests and bishops. So what could possibly be worse?

The article goes on to say...

These include defiling the Eucharist, which Catholics believe is the body and blood of Christ. Stafford said this offense is occurring with more and more frequency, not just in satanic rites but by ordinary faithful who receive Communion and then remove the host from their mouths and spit it out or otherwise desecrate it.

Others include a priest breaking the seal of the confessional by revealing the nature of the sin and the person who sought penance, or a priest who has sex with someone and then offered forgiveness for the act.

Desecrating the Eucharist or breaking the seal of the confessional - both terrible sins, but in what way are they worse than mass murder or genocide? I'm trying to imagine going to confession and saying "Well, Fr Massie - I murdered several hundred people in an attempt to wipe out an entire nationality and then spat on the Eucharist" and him saying "Okay, well if you're sorry about the murders then I can absolve you but the spitting on the Eucharist is above my pay grade..."

It doesn't sound very likely.

Then I thought I had it worked out. Desecration of the Eucharist, breaking the seal of the confessional. There's a common theme there - those are offences against the sacraments. That could be it. Maybe it's not got anything to do with the scale of the sin but more to do with the kind of sin. Perhaps offences against the sacraments require a special kind of absolution?

Still, it's not something I've heard of before so I was sceptical of that interpretation. I'm quite sure that people who receive communion when they are not supposed to are considered to have desecrated the Eucharist. I've definitely never heard somebody say "I got my annulment but because I received communion when I wasn't supposed to I have to go and get a special absolution from the pope before I can receive communion". The annulment means the marriage never happened so maybe it means the desecration never happened? This is getting very complicated. I fear I have strayed over the border in to stupid land.

The whole "offences against the sacraments" theory gets blown out of the water anyway by the next part...

A fourth type of case that comes to the tribunal involves a man who directly caused an abortion -- such as by paying for it -- who then seeks to become a priest or deacon, Stafford said.

Hmm. Causing an abortion is not really an offence against the sacraments, even for a priest. Not unless we're going to allow the sort of logic that says "the priest is ordained so it's an offence against his ordination which is a sacrament". In that case, I'm baptised so all my sins are sins against the sacraments - yet Fr Massie has not referred me to Rome yet.

Basically, I'm confused. The article says "The aim was to explain what the Apostolic Penitentiary actually does". Well guys. I don't understand. I expect because the media have failed again to accurately describe what the Church has said or done. The media is rubbish at religion.

Fortunately - Fr Z to the rescue!... (ish)

There are some sins that are so grave that they incur censures which not every priest can absolve. Only the Holy See can absolve the censures that come from certain acts. However, the SPA also handles any matter of conscience. A Catholic always has recourse to the Holy See.

To be honest. Having read the explanations over on Fr Z's blog I'm still on the uncertain side. If I understand correctly, he is saying that while your local bishop/priest can absolve the sin, he cannot remove something like an automatic-excommunication that arose as a result of the sin. Perhaps that is it. Somebody on Fr Z's blog asks...

In this case, what is the procedure:

(i) sacramental absolution is to be withheld while removal of the canonical censure has not yet been obtained from the Holy See

OR

(ii) sacramental absolution is to be given, thus removing the sin, but without affecting the canonical sanction, that remains in place until removed by the Holy See?

I suspect number two but I'm not sure... I wonder if there are any Priests reading who know the answer?

Meanwhile - I expect all this blog entry has achieved is that anybody reading has now been confirmed in their suspicion that Catholicism is completely bonkers.

[link]

Advent Reconciliation Service: As is our tradition at this time of the year, you will have the opportunity to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation in a relatively painless atmosphere during our Tuesday evening Mass this week which begins at 7.00 p.m.

[link]

Relatively painless confession... is that like relatively dry baptism?

Evangelical Mega Churches don't do confession.

Or do they?