So let me get this right? Old ladies... Fr Stephen... a Piano... and you want me to pay £12 for the pleasure? Get thee thou out of here. If Fr Stephen has anything useful to say he can bally well say it for free. It's blatantly just him showing off on the piano while old ladies coo over him and tell him how lovely he is. I want to throw up. So sayeth the James. It didn't help much that when Ella asked Fr Stephen about it he said "You'll have to come to find out". When Ella told him I thought it would be just him playing the piano he told her "James hasn't been to one, that's the trouble with blogging, people don't invite you to things for fear of being blogged about".

Ella wanted to go, so we went. £24 between us. That's more than the cinema that is!

It were right good.

Fans of GK Chesterton will know what I am on about when I say that Chesterton was very fond of stories as a means to convey the truth. Chesterton points out that the good stories are those that, in some way or another, tell the story. A short summary of Fr. Stephen's musical retreat might be to say that what GK Chesterton did with fairy tales, Fr. Stephen Maughan did with music. If anything, it works better with Music - you cannot tell a story at the same time as you talk about the story, but you can play music as you talk about music.

He began by talking about themes, he played the hovis theme and then asked us what we were thinking about. Even those of us not born in the 70's were thinking of bread. He then described how Dvorak was in south america in the middle of nowhere when he wrote the piece, trying to describe the most beautiful sunset he had ever seen. Words failed him, so he wrote music instead. Fr Stephen then played the music at it's proper speed (much slower) and we dreampt of sunsets. He played some themes from films such as ET, Star Wars and Superman and talked about Nessun Dorma and his frustration that this theme is so often played and ends with a single chord when it should seque in to the rest of the story. Of course, nobody knows the story (they don't speak Italian for a start), they just like the nice music.

Fr. Stephen pointed out that Nessun Dorma alone makes little sense without the rest of the story and suggested that the same is happening today with Advent. People know the Christmas songs but they make no sense on their own. They end like Nessun Dorma with a single chord on Christmas day an make no sense because they do not continue in to Easter. He showed us Madonna of the Meadow by Giovanni Bellini and Michaelangelo's Pieta. Pointing out that when the Angel comes to Mary and she says "Yes" and we say "Isn't it lovely" we really need to think about what she is saying "Yes" too.

Next he talked about variations. Focussing on Elgar's Variations. Elgar started with a theme and then wrote variations based around people he knew. The point is this, the variations were totally different and reflected the different people's lives and personalities. However, the theme is the same. In the Christian life, the theme is Christ and our lives should be variations on his life. Fr. Stephen suggested that as an examination of conciense we think about how our own variation on the theme might sound if Elgar were to write a variation based on our lives. Would there be any part of the music we would want to change?

Finally, he talked about the Church as Fugue. Having overheard a man describe the Church as a Fugue he explored the idea. This was particularly interesting for me as I got to learn not only Fr. Stephen's point but also what a fugue actually is. The shortest description I can think of is that it's a bit like if Elgar's variations all happened at the same time... no, that's a rubbish description. How about if I just say that this is one. Once again, Fr. Stephen talked about Jesus Christ as the central theme and our lives as variations upon it. Lest this sound like religious pluralism (we're all different and nobody is wrong) Fr. Stephen was very clear on the point that the original theme had to be the same and suggested John 3:16 as the central theme.

My description only skims the surface really, if Fr. Stephen does another one of these (and I hope he does) then you should all go. It's well worth £12 and very good.

This morning Ella and I went unicycling with the husband of Mrs Hall who taught us chemistry and who took the opportunity to make sure we are using tin foil correctly which of course we are. For those of you not blessed with scientific wisdom, you need to put the shiny side on the inside. For those of you now wondering "tin foil has different sides?" you need to get more observant. We unicycled around the Humber Bridge Country Park which is a challenging place to unicycle but we had a great time. It was appropriate, because a couple of years ago we used our unicycles to get to the National Youth Sunday celebrations at St. Vincents. Unicycling and youth events should be connected.

We arrived at the Church hall of Our Lady of Lourdes and St. Peter Chanel (known locally as "Marist" which once hillariously lead some Mormons to think I was telling them I was a Maoist). Micky and Nikki were already there organising things, we had a quick musical practice and very soon people started arriving. I had a brief chat with Richard Marsden and Sarah Holmes before Nicky stood on a chair and got everybody's attention.

As ever, we started with icebreaker games. Micky did a really good job at getting the kids organsied around a parachute and playing a game where they had to learn peoples names to win. He let it run just the right amount of time before quieting the kids down, explaining what was going to happen and then reading the gospel from todays mass which was to be the theme of the day. He was a real master of his art and the kids had fun when it was time to have fun and listened when it was time to listen. The reading, in case you missed mass this morning, was this one...

And the people stood by, watching; but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, "He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!" The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him vinegar, and saying, "If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!" There was also an inscription over him, "This is the King of the Jews." One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!" But the other rebuked him, saying, "Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." And he said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."

The kids (sorry, young people) split off in to four groups and each of the groups had two tasks to complete. Here's where it gets really interesting. The first task (provided by the live simply campaign) was to write on a "brick" (A4 Sheet) completing the sentence "I/We promise to live simply by...". We had scarcely sat at our table and the youths had filled in their sheets. "Recycling", "Not Wasting Water", "Turning off my TV and not leaving it on standby". Two things were clear, that they had done this before and that they are sick of it. They filled in the sheets, sighed, and asked what was next. The obvious answer was to draw skulls, knives and guns (for the boys) or flowers and fair trade symbols (for the girls).

So we practically began with the second task. To look at the gospel for the day and another reading. We had to read them, think about them and come up with something to share with the other groups. We got one of the kids to read the gospel again...

And the people stood by, watching; but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, "He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!" The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him vinegar, and saying, "If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!" There was also an inscription over him, "This is the King of the Jews." One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!" But the other rebuked him, saying, "Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." And he said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."

Then I asked a question, first I made sure they understood that the reading takes place during the crucifixtion (it's not obvious from the reading) and then I asked "If Jesus is the King of the Universe, why doesn't he get down off the cross, afterall, if he's the King of the Universe surely he can do that sort of thing".

I'm not going to claim they were enthusiastic. They wern't exactly fighting to answer, but their attitude was completely different. This was a question they hadn't all thought about before and the answer wasn't immediately obvious. One of them said "Because he had to die so our sins can be forgiven" and another said "How does dying forgive sins" The lady leading this group with me answered that the whole "how does him dying cause our sins to be forgiven" is one of the mysteries of the Christian faith (which is true). I suggested we take a look at our other reading and see if it gave us any clues...

For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive. But each in his own order: Christ the first fruits, then at his coming those who belong to Christ. Then comes the end, when he delivers the kingdom to God the Father after destroying every rule and every authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death. "For God has put all things in subjection under his feet." But when it says, "All things are put in subjection under him," it is plain that he is excepted who put all things under him. When all things are subjected to him, then the Son himself will also be subjected to him who put all things under him, that God may be everything to every one.

As it was read aloud we reached the line "The last enemy to be destroyed is death" and one lad said "That's in Harry Potter!". Very observant. We also wrangled our way to the answer to the "why doesn't he get down off the cross" question. He had to die to destroy death by rising again. So then another lad says "If Jesus destroyed death why do we still die?". He might as well have said "Checkmate". How do you even begin to answer that question in a way that satisfies him (and older youth) without totally going over the heads of the younger kids. I said something about us not dying because when we die we live forever. It wasn't a good enough answer and he looked dissapointed.

The discussion hadn't been an amazing success but it had acheived something really straightforward, the kids had heard and understood the basic message that Jesus died so our sins can be forgiven and I think for some of them it was the first time they had really thought about that. They spend so long on ethical discussions about recycling.

Fr Stephen Maughan and Canon Micheal Loughlin entered the room about this time and did something that puts them, in my view, a step above all the other priests present. What they did was really simple, they sat down with the kids and talked to them about what they were doing. One of the boys in our group asked Fr Stephen about the readings. Fr Stephen recognised the reading "I preached on this this morning" so the kid asked him about the link to Live Simply "I didn't preach on live simply", replied Fr Stephen, "I preached on Christ the Universal King". Fr Stephen is spot on of course, the obvious message this Sunday is Christ the Universal King, not "Recycle more and don't waste water".

After the group work was over we moved to the Church. The kids all got to light a candle (because that's what participation is all about, right?) and the "bricks" were stuck on the front of the altar. Then each group read out what they had got from the readings. Each group had a different second reading (only we had Harry Potter) so the results were quite different. Then Canon Loughlin exposed the blessed sacrament, some of the kids knelt of their own volition. Huge massive buckets of respect to Fr. John O'Gara who directed proceedings from behind and really made it what it was, which was beautiful. Big respect also to Canon Micheal for not dumbing down on the blessing and also to all the parents and helpers who ran groups. Every group had something good to say, nobody stood up and said "Let's recycle more". Thanks be to God.

After the mass, the kids got their party (also organised by Micky and Nicky - they are legends). The whole event was a great success.

...Who are you and what have you done with James? Where's the criticism? Oh wait, here it is...

What made today a success was the parents and helpers who came along and put in the effort. It would have been nice to see more priests actually hanging around and talking to the young people but I'm sure they have their excuses. These parents and helpers (myself included) are not professional youth workers, we need help and support from the wider Church. What we need are catechetical materials aimed at young people that explain the basics of Chrisitianity in a language secularised teenagers can understand. What we get are leaflets about "living simply" and the importance of recycling.

The problem I think is that Cafod are too good at what they do. Cafod are amazing at taking the message of social justice and living in solidarity with the poor and so they should be. It is their remit. I have nothing but good things to say about Cafod. The problem comes when people use the materials Cafod provide as catechetical materials. Cafod are not setting out to evangelise. The Catholic Youth Services should be. There needs to be a voice as loud as Cafod saying not "recycle and don't waste water" but "here are some reasons to believe God exists..."

Maybe CASE should get involved in youth work? Maybe the Catholic Youth Services should get involed in youth work? Failing that, it would be great if somebody somewhere with the requisite expertise would put together some decent materials and get them out. We need you guys.