In the interests of getting the largest possible audience for their ineffective liberal propaganda machine, the clever folks at The Tablet have asked Fr Tim Finigan to remove his fisk of their article from his website.

The trouble is, Fr Tim just can't help himself. He's a hardned compulsive criminal. Just look at this photo he put on his website...

We should all pray for him.

Anybody who has ever criticised my blog for publicaly criticising parishes and priests by name has a moral duty to complain to The Tablet who have published an article criticising Fr Tim Finigan by name.

From now on I will consider any priest that chooses to distribute The Tablet in his parish to be fair game for blogging, since they obviously approve.

Not fair?

I suppose the difference is that The Tablet are reporting only good things about Fr Tim Finigan...

Haw Haw...

No but seriously, now that you've played the "draw attention to it" card what comes next? The thing about people who are not trying to undermine the Church is that they don't mind if people find out about it.

Unlike those who are...

"Shhhhhh... We're not doing anything wrong or anything but don't tell anybody!"

Warning: The following information may frighten and disturb the feint of heart. I am about to expose a vast global conspiracy to hide the truth and destroy the world, nay, the universe!

Oh sure, you say. Everybody knows about those. We've all heard of Opus Dei, the Illuminati, 9/11 and the New World Order, the Moon Landing Hoax, Area 51, not to mention the Bishops Conference of England and Wales. Relax. None of that stuff exists.

This is real.

The Proof?

Numerology tells all!

What I am about to tell you is Pure. Hard. Science. Numbers never lie because they are facts. Facts are always true. Numbers are always true.

The Biblical precedent is undeniable. Jesus tells us to forgive 7x7x7 times. In Revelation we hear about the 144000 and everybody has heard about 666. The number of the beast.

The message is clear. Numbers are your friends. Everybody heed the numbers.

So what do the numbers tell us about the Faith Movement?

Everybody knows how it works. A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4, etc, etc. We can calculate the numerological value of a thing like this:

FAITH MOVEMENT
(6+1+9+20+8) + (13+15+22+5+13+5+14+20) = 151

So what? So the Faith Movement = 151. What does it all mean?

SATANIC BUNNIES
(19+1+20+1+14+9+3) + (2+21+14+14+9+5+19) = 151

The Numbers have spoken! For those of you lacking mathematical skills let me explain:

FAITH MOVEMENT = SATANIC BUNNIES

This evidence is indisputable. Remember. Numbers are FACTS.

It gets worse.

As you know (or would, if you were as familiar as with the seedy underbelly of this movement as I am) one of the central tenets of the Satanic Bunnies (Faith Movement) is the Law of Control and Direction. What do the numbers say?

THE LAW OF CONTROL AND DIRECTION
(20+8+5) + (12+1+23) + (15+6) + (3+15+14+20+18+15+12) + (1+14+4) + (4+9+18+5+3+20+9+15+14) = 303

BUNNIES HERETICAL SYNTHESIS
(2+21+14+14+9+5+19) + (8+5+18+5+20+9+3+1+12) + (19+25+14+20+8+5+19+9+19) = 303

THE LAW OF CONTROL AND DIRECTION = BUNNIES HERETICAL SYNTHESIS

I felt my blood chill when I discovered this. It can be no coincidence. Numbers do not lie. The Law of Control and Direction is none other than the Satanic Bunnies Heretical Synthesis.

Synthesis? What's that got to do with anything? You just threw that word in so everything would add up!

Not so. Do not doubt the numbers. They know more than you think.

One of the main texts of the Heretical Bunnies (Faith Movement) is Catholicism: A New Synthesis by Edward Holloway.

What is this "New Synthesis"?

A NEW SYNTHESIS
(1) + (14+5+23) + (19+25+14+20+8+5+19+9+19) = 181

APOSTATE BUNNIES
(1+16+15+19+20+1+20+5) + (2+21+14+14+9+5+19) = 181

A NEW SYNTHESIS = APOSTATE BUNNIES

There is nothing more tragic in our world today than an Apostate Bunny. So cute. So lost. So tragic. Pray for them.

I think we can all agree the Satanic Bunnies must be stopped. The Heretical Synthesis cannot be tolerated. But where to begin? So many members of the Faith Movement are just poor lost Apostate Bunnies. Who is the mastermind behind the mischief?

A well known Faith priest perhaps?

TIM FINIGAN
(20+9+13) + (6+9+14+9+7+1+14) = 102

BUNNY GOD
(2+21+14+14+25) + (7+15+4) = 102

TIM FINIGAN = BUNNY GOD

Holy Hermeneutic Batman!

The Bunny God and his Apostate Bunnies will devour us all!